I Gave to Myself

I was feeling frustrated at a couple friends the other day. I started walking towards Whole Foods to go cheer myself up and buy a new pretty-smelling lotion, but then I saw The Paper Store.

My body veered left and I said to myself, “Let’s get them presents instead.” I must embody my mission, after all. I challenged myself to rise above my frustration and fear. The lotion would have to wait.

I weaved through the store searching and searching for the perfect gift that made me feel good. One that I knew they would enjoy. One that would put a smile on their face.

I chatted with the sales clerk as she helped me find the perfect gift and helped wrap them at checkout. Once I got to my car, I put each of the presents in a gift bag with tissue paper and smiled with how good I was feeling for turning-the-tables on my frustration. I had a huge smile on my face.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was doing good. My grin was bigger than what would have been should I have found that pretty-smelling lotion. The gift of feeling proud of myself for making a decision that would put more positive energy into the world was just what the mental health doctor ordered!

The next divine gift I received after I gave myself a pat on the back, was when I delivered my gifts. I carefully watched their reactions. They had tears in their eyes. They hugged me, smiled, and laughed with how thoughtful my gifts were. He said humbly, “That is so kind.”

And, there it was: love boomeranging back to me. This was my intent, but it still was touching and came as a surprise to me. A wave of joy. Unexpected, somehow. Indescribable.

This is why Jesus said to “love your enemies.” Not only does love always win, but it also affects our own hearts and not just the recipients. A welcome gift to ourselves.

Love is infinite; looping back into itself and never wasted.

When I saw Frozen 2 for the third time at the theater yesterday, I was struck when Elsa said, “The only thing that is permanent is: love.” A brilliant woman, she also said, “Fear can’t be trusted.” And so, I receive the good gift from Disney to remind myself to spread more love and not be shaken by my fear.

My anger has dissipated and been removed with just this simple act: to give.

Giving must be my best reflex. Love has been replaced by my anger. There is no room for anger and hate when we give—only love.

How can you give to yourself by giving to another today?

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